last letter 2 U

do u know, i was looking after u with excuse of extra study by attend the class of ur, n a lot n a lot of reasonable excuse i hv 4got, may b u never find out or may b u dun hv 2, just like always my love never reach any1 directly, I only can hope the knowledges i left on tis world can help u indirectly someday.

if someday, u face the same problem as I n u not willing 2 continue. u still can reverse the side effect by hv several day off, n do what u truly enjoy with all ur soul until u without realize the symptom of side effect been 4got. otherwise the side effect might getting permanent, wish u happy.

remember this is the only method, n it might hv some opposite effect.

the mind itself with similar method bring the side effect, either reverse or getting worse also find solution on mind with similar method. what ppl either call it focus behavior or meditation, it is somethg unavoidable n natural that every1 doing it without realize, so u dun hv 2 b afraid.

but u don hv get 2 serious bout it or spread it out carelessly, it one of the theory i made secretly, it may only being verify by others in future.

endless

A style mean different of order, post modernism unable to create new order because of large scale project? Or disorder of mindset unable overcomes its own choke-point? And which bring up post modernism itself? does order make design sensual or disorder of mindset make order design sensual. a order design is to heal disorder mind and order mind does not need a order design. nowadays seem even worse because need to deal with no mind. I wonder I am right, anyway constant thinking will bring clearer answer for all questions eventually.

after a week of wonder. temple design may look order but it actually create some difficulty environment to help people use their seldom used senses to aware of oneself and surrounding in depth

while post modernism disorder design more likely try to did similar thing by make people get lost first and find their way again. wonder if something still missing in this conclusion.

Follow your heart

Always follow your heart. Your heart will fill with your sharpen senses by intense experience. Only one who design and built with heart along his lifetime will lead to higher succeed and truly unique. because your mind will be messy as you not use it in a true joyful way shortly.

heart = mind

Which make the world full with various design in the old days.

It was easy in the old freedom day, because the journey does not make profit but keep architecture evolve and architecture at that time also mostly in small-scale, does not need money nor paperwork but mostly people own effort and thought. The journey may fill with design failure, master through experiments and failures.

and that what been absent and hardly apply on systematic education nor even systematic society today which causing the misunderstood. people fully using knowledges that been left rather their mind.

its precious in society scarce of knowledge, but being treat like a trash in society full of knowledge. what a tragedy.

don't know what you want. you want me explain pervert design something like peeping hole at bathroom and bedroom or hightech hidden cctv, placing seat area right below staircase. ohh, it must be about some sort of softness like cloth or wool integrate in design.

kelly castle

The Kellie castle was actually combination of owner house and a luxury private club.

The site was quite in danger because it’s in the direct hit by the river flow; there is erosion control work along the river next to the hill. The plantation and pots along the entrance staircase by the management was such a nuisance than improvement. I not sure if it was the original design.

The old house design was something like Dutch style, brick wall and the floor construction was more casual, with just piece of corrugate metal plank with cement finish on top and support by wood beam. This is found in one of the small room, but wonder if this applies on whole old house.

Some of the clubroom floor was finish with something I don’t know what they are while the rest was incomplete.

The design of the courtyard was a bit boring, could it be there are underground so big reach to the whole courtyard and so its avoid to support more load. Sigh, I forgot to check vent holes arrangement within the vent well which may give me some clue. There was an odd cover up brick work beside the vent well which may be one of the underground entrance or manhole.

Those secondary beams seem not for structural purpose but were to make space for the edge ceiling decorative or may be the floor slab was not reinforced. There were timber block on floor slab which probably prepare for lighting installation that we got no chance to know how it look. The roof space was so wide which could make party on it and have surrounding view.

the line on concrete slab show there no timber board at that time, I wonder how they made the corbel

the arch will be beautiful without plastering if they clear the mortar.

The staircase to upper floor was narrow because they are not going to be used often because there was a lift going to be installed. The window and wall façade design of the club was a bit weird when stand along with his house that I not sure it was yellow paint or plain yellow plastering house. Anyway, those various arch and opening design was beautiful. I also not quite sure how the club going to look like, because the plastered part got no vent hole while unfinished were so many vent holes on it, which confuse me if what exactly they are and make me think it may better left no plastering but we are in heavy rain region.

The period of the design show how people still unable to fully make use both new and old material as part of the design. Even for today, these problems still have not fully solved and uncover their aesthetic potential more.

An architect is merely a life practices like anyone.

Most modern design was getting boring even though they look unusual but just different of appearance because people today also getting boring as they getting stupid seeking of something blindly, and so are building designer today as human population rising, society hunger of speed and living need, profession emerge and getting divide from other thing, system that bind with society and unnecessary emotion all the time, overwhelming by the pressure of the whole society, we lose our freedom of mind, our senses. Not just architect but all people unable to practice life and understand life, nature, world, everything, a sad out coming to all, and a dangerous vicious cycle. a fundamentally new discovery, invention, design getting hard to come out anymore.

so am I who getting blurry, act of thinking like luxury now. I realize that I unavoidably getting stupid as I adapt to the system, should I quit architecture and look for the problem and solution to stop this vicious cycle.

sorry to be so emotional, but such big problem has make everyone getting senses dumb and negative behavior. even though if anyone understand article is about feel, appreciate does not make one having the sensitive or ability to feel or appreciate. only when one reach motionless or peace of mind could be sensitive to our own body and surrounding.

and that why hard to find a architect with good senses today, and the clients and even architects also losing sense and unable to appreciate the sensation design by the designer and even worse was the sensation design were difficult or lot of afford need to be communicate by only presentation and model. I rather built it directly than wasting so much time to communicate and that make me more an amateur from view of professional system but more professional than professional designer in a wild way.

but society, system and law restrict such wild way make not only architecture getting boring, our life and everything else were getting boring. it seem I have gone too far from the topic but I just can't help because they are all related.

Last samurai: too many mind, no mind (nothingness) (peace) (Zen)

jewish museum berlin

scar of the past

Fallen leaves: begin a harsh journey

walking right into the narrow and darkness

Inside the Holocaust Tower:.fading hope

view upward through the pillars in The Garden of Exile:.start new life from the sorrow past

Jewish museum has a specific theme which makes it easier to have a touching design while our and most others museum was all history cram together and so the design hard to go anywhere.

like most monument, they only built it big to honor them without think too much. I also unable to have any good idea in such a rush.

Chong Seng Minimarket = my home

I guess first thing that trigger my inspiration was terrazzo on living room with it variety of stone pattern and there was several time that I found some kind of object or animal out from it while I not sure how long that I have been stare on it.

second thing that trigger my design inspiration was Lego. I design a very unique water dam with some kind of new system but I unable to recall the design from my memory.

I love staircase and its influence my design as well

there was something like this but frame were made by steel that movable to go upper floor over that location on picture below.

but parent ask craftsmen to made a fix staircase about ten year ago

upper floor were use to dry cloth

A small opening to roof

roofscape

right: the shading structure built by my brilliant father with steel frame, water pipe, plastic tie and the black thing, its not very stable but serve well, only some imperfect design create spot erosion as the shade collect part of rainwater and flow all at once on various spot. plastic tie and the black thing also often fail and fall on plant and roof, causing clogging and knot up branches.

I love the roof very much because I can do anything as long as not create problem to below floor

The moment step out from building to roof, it like climb to mountain top with just few second and have 360degree views. Shophouses are link together, so are the roof and it look as like various hill which I could travel freely like jungle boy since nobody interest on it. I really lucky because it residential area, all building height does not have much different and so everyone able to share these open view and entire sky. I hope this information will help people to realize potential of roof and even roof height.

Since I living in shophouse, there are open courtyard on second floor but the courtyard been raised up with masonry, wood frame window, topped with corrugated roofing and create a very unique steel frame air well that can be open and closed manually with a overall at least 10meter linen rope like bamboo shade below but it been seal by my parents years ago. Where I used to use my body weight to close and open the air well.

manual control wooden shade

At 2000, roof garden was established by founder who is me at that time was thought may be the hot temperature makes my parents fighting. Funny

It’s start with just few small pots with small steel mesh platform above galvanized roof drain to about 3m by 6m today. At the beginning, I always dream if I able to cover whole roof with small forest with river and anything else like doremon mini world.

wind breaker

The roof was hot and dry, and plants suffer of drought and burn. So, I start to create layers of shield as number of them growing as I collect anything from anywhere, plant which able to withstand dryness will be surrounding the side of the garden. Any flat shape container are put most edge to collect rainwater to cool as much as possible and they also attract birds to clean themselves and drink.

Erosion, radiation and wind also are big enemy.

cover with nutshell

To protect from these enemy, I try with growing moss cushion and coconut fiber on top of soil, the erosion been control but water loss still very high. Then I try with anykind of nut shell, the result was pleasing.

For the wind

I been search suitable species for years, at first there was a kind of soft and tall plant with lemon smell that I think might be my wind breaker to reduce water loss. I try not to water it for months and it did survive for about three month. About 2 or 3 year ago, I found two cactus species, one was short but more brunch and another was tall with little brunch. So, I put them together as line of wind shield where most hot wind blows from neighbor roof.

Because it was pitch roof, sometime clogging happens as leaves dying and rain will slip through tiles. So, maintenance seem unavoidable, may be around haft year once

Mini aquatic creature from water lily was a cute new comer to the garden, I appreciate them very much because they produce fertilizer but as water lily fail to survive. My mum were insist to throw away the ugly big plastic container. So, I look for a big flat container which people usually used to put underneath pot to catch overflow water for those cute aquatic creatures and put a layer of broken branches from public garden in front my house, layer of leaves, layer of coconut fiber mix with ash from roof, moss cushion and plant.

design developement

But there was a mistake, the ash from roof contain silt or sand which erode from the roof tiles. The moss start to failing and erosion getting aggressive which nothing I can do until it collapse eventually. Luckily, I found several containers which their descendent flourish until now.

only ruin were left

I never demand the garden to be beautiful because I just want to love them and study them. Things become more troublesome as my mum also start gardening and show off to her friends, she always want the garden to be clean and tidy which annoy me a lot and have quite lot of argue happen.

The story seems endless….. It’s quite exhaust to recall memory in details.

roof above five foot way

There was a narrow flat roof with parapet above the five foot way, along there was left with bunch of waste roof tile and bricks. Ash and sand wash from pitch roof accumulated over there and form a thick layer of moss below place where cover by roof a little bit which might conquer by weed and tree later on.

masterpiece, by using a big plate as water reservoir, small plate for plant and moss act as connection to reservoir. All made it work perfect to keep it moist and beautiful all the time.

Stonehenge with pebble on center

view within the pipe above like a moon at night

I collect pipe, ash and broken brick to built sculptures. I think it was about 3 years ago that I come out an idea by using waste roof tiles as container for moss cushion, with layers of coconut fiber mix with soil on center of roof tile, then a layer of half decay gunny-bag to be fast moss fertilizer with a layer of new gunny bag on top to be weather protection, then just put some moss around them.

simple plan of moss cushion

To keep them moist, I found next door flat roof as growing field since it’s often become a pond that can last for about more than a week if rain keep the supply and there nobody live below there. The pond does not have any mosquito because it under sunshine even if there are, they be eat by dragonfly baby.

After around 4 months to haft year, the cushion been form and bind together, its beautiful masterpiece and I place them surround the roof garden as buffer since they able to withstand drought. Mushroom often growing from them but only have few days or haft day life span as it hit by the sun.

beautiful

I guess that I was too hasty; they did not bind tight enough to face the weather different. After just 1year, they start to crack and sliding out from the tile, another fail project.

remains of them

Since I used want to be a landscape designer, I dream if children able to enjoy the public garden better but I do not have such right to build it right on the garden since law is so troublesome and I made a small tower with a kind of material like soil to making salty duck egg and broken wood from public garden as well. Because it impossible to tight those non standard broken branches with rope or nail since they are so small, using gravity like retaining wall will made it easier to build. By placing big branches as soldier, small branches as lagging. Each time after several lagging was place and using soil to hold it in place, and repeat this process until the end. Lastly, cover the soil with fiber and because mouse like to digging any new comer appear in garden. I sharpen bunch of branches and put them around the tower like fortress, and the mouse did come but only manage to dig a bit.

above: that how it look

below: original plan look nicer but I think it will harder to control erosion and hard to find so many straight wood without processing.

I forgot when it was, my father was carelessly knock on one of the main pole. The structure no longer solid no matter how I try to repair, weather brings it down slowly.

collapse tower with a pot at middle to cut weight

remain of wood from the collapse tower

After the rain are getting weak and before its end. There will be beautiful scene between pitch roof and roof pond, the roof seem come to life although they just old roof tile. They are shining by the rainwater and become dark green at some part because algae were growing on them, water dropping slowly to the roof pond.

darker color were occupy by dense of algae

my neighbor roof during rain

And I come to an idea to make a pond at my flat roof as well but I actually do not even know roof pond system exist at that moment right until I build about a year later and I try to find if any similar thing on internet by typing roof pool, water roof… but mine was a bit different from roof pond system, and I think may be it should call roof swamp system, haha.

original plan - tiles were use to slow down water flowing speed and increase water supply

I not sure how long the whole construction preparation take since only one volunteer labor that do not need to report to any boss but I think at least it take haft year by doing little by little, day by day.

waste brick - unknown bond

Since my parents doing grocery shop or minimarket, they provide all the free material I need, big plastic bag used to wrap several big bag of pampers from factory, coconut fiber, gunny bag, coconut shell, waste brick and waste roof tiles from neighbor.

At Beginning was facing several problems, after I form a triangular shape with bricks and I need to check weather the plastic bag was no leak by pour water on it but to do so, the roof surface must be dry to see if leak happen. If rainy day, I may have to wait and see if the water level fall rapidly. Finally, I found a perfect one, the roof pond work but the water only hold for about 2 to 3 days because I cannot raise the water level much because there was once the paint crack a bit as I raised it and the plastic bag aging fast as sun hit it directly.

So, coconut fiber the savior come in, its light weight, retain moisture and UV protection, but if put unprocessed coconut fiber will create shading and water spot which might attract mosquito. To save time, energy and water, coconut shell comes in.

After placing plastic bag, gunny bag as protection, shell place tight together, fiber to fit any water pocket that are expose and shell again to keep water cold and last whole year by only rain, also prevent any weed or plant from growing to reduce maintenance.

Since the DPM was imperfect and unable to cover whole roof, need to keep some distance to let water dry. I know it does not look nice but effective on cooling

You might see water stain but it not my creation causing it, my father was thought to stop the leak from the drain pipe at corner with thick cement but also end up creating a dam surround the drain and a pond. To drain away the water, we come up with an idea that do not need to change anything by placing a long rope using capillarity and gravity to let the water drip slowly away from the roof, but the rope need to replace every few month as it rotten.

drain that become a dam

Roof garden may look nice but its not only attract birds come to sing but various insect include cockroach that love warm during night, centipede, woodlice that actually very cute, various lice which I do not know what they are.

With these experiences, although I think my design was nice but comfort, functions, free of trouble, and environment consideration always my first priority.

nothing with everything

temple design

Repeating line design act as buffer that lead to next level, simple and geometrical design serve purpose to reduce unnecessary motion of your mind, at last darkness or dimness design is try to put an end of troubled mind or to eliminate any personal emotion, its like put you to death but also to restart your mind once again, just like when you are very happy until forgot everything and you even more happy.

I not sure if I discover everything, bright color or big size temple also unnecessary because it might trigger unnecessary motion.

I was once have a thought that the most perfect building is invisible from the surrounding, its provide protection like Chameleon and does not affect original view.

Name is unimportant and important at the same time. It’s because description can make people clear but confuse at the same time. For example, like thingness and thingless, nothing and everything, one and zero, they are so close and that easily causing people assume they know a lot.

That why old wise man will say smart but not wise; and teachers say the more you understand and you will find you don’t understand more; Greece philosopher say one must know foolish of oneself.

In wikipedia may say philosophy cannot make knowledge but actually philosophy makes knowledge but knowledge cannot make philosophy.

The core meaning of philosophy is simply using your mind, not use your any previous experience, knowledge or prejudice.

And philosophy merely a name that actually contents no meaning, nothing and it’s confusing everybody for century. Yes and not only this word, many other words, like three words that I just spill out above which having same meaning and is the same thing if you use your mind.

I don’t remember much about architecture style name or term because why would I memorized them while they has no name from the very beginning and all I need to is understand it (science) and play with it (art) which make people call it architecture or design, whatever. Both motion or action using mind and that make people drag along philosophy. Sigh, people like to differentiate unnecessary thing while it’s just the same thing or same mind while only use on different thing.

All I have saying also mean nothing and everything. I'm stop here before get into bigger trouble.

confusing article

I have notice that it talk about freedom and something seem relate to Western Philosophy that truth is concrete, with relativity. Which actually no different with Eastern Philosophy but they are more clear that freedom itself basically is simply focus of mind which make yourself feel free and you not really seek for freedom or anything but actually nothing, nothing itself being describe as freedom by most people. Relative also not exist but only exist as prejudice is occur in your mind.

Like Ludwig Mies van der Rohe say less is more or God is in the details which actually try to describe about the same thing – freedom by focus on detail (the motion of focus exactly focus of mind at the same time), and make thing less or simplicity or hierarchy (whatever you call it) make people easier to focus while actually the best focus is nothing to focus.

So, is architecture really got any meaning, even myself doubt when lecture ask me to explain my own design with bunch of term and style that actually probably have no meaning from the very beginning.

minority report

The main character work as (detective) using "pre-crime division" by three psychic being caught murder by himself before it happen and struggle to prove himself innocent with help of one of the psychic.

Not impressive much, just a detective story adding with some future technology and the road on building seem unnecessary unless there really bunch of mega parallel structure and I was doubt how the vehicle turn back to horizontal when it reach end or corner. But if so, the road may able to be part of design.

Failure or imperfect of system? But I think only need to improve it and no need to abandon it totally.

Not much impact to architecture because don’t have such technology, therefore won’t have any further thinking of it, and may be only think of design plan of the lift to be more interesting and effective.

theory of Ar- my story

I’m love plants and start gardening and design garden since 13 on a very special place that is not suitable as garden which makes it more challenging. It gives me joy and peace, and I learn lot of thing. I also love drawing and design anything or even inventing, haha which not need for me to explain too much here.

I’m actually want to be a environmental engineering but I not good on math, or landscape architect, forestry but I not under science stream

Then I end up at UCSI to study architecture

But since after I enter UCSI architecture, I feel my mind getting blurry and its does not feel good. I guess I been used to learn by observing for days, weeks, months and practical experience which is fun and free of mind without concern of deadline and others; no rushing, memorized or making model, Its just too fake and unproductive way to learn which make me suffer a lot, I want to explore more knowledge but always being stop by multiple deadline again and again. How can I learn freely by this stupid education system, sigh. I know that most how we work in future but …., sigh.

Good thing…. can’t remember much….. Too rushing ……Not enough time to feel deeply….. Friends….hard work…Nice model and design but still unable to make myself proud …. Too fake….. I not even know how the true feeling of my design if built in reality….. How can I be proud or even confident?

Explore slowly and more is my best yet worst habit, because I been train myself to do research like scientist when I was a gardener, Its not just find references or data that been done like lecture always used to ask but to discover by myself and fully understand as much as I can without any kind of aid, for example not just understand different behavior of plant, but how it response to other plant, soil, water, weather behavior. This habit are slow or ineffective in short term but effective in long term, its giving chance for myself to use my mind which gives me great knowledge and wisdom but bad marks for late submission.

Just want to discover more because it’s fun and might useful to help myself and others in future. I guess that what keep me to learn.